I wanna tell you about two men……Old Jack and Old John. They were both elder’s in the same church, but were always at odds with each other. They were constantly at each others’ throat especially in elder meetings. When one of them said “yes,” you could be assured that the other would say “no.”
So……one day old Jack dies and arrives at the pearly gates in heaven. He notices how St. Peter asks everyone a question before they entered the gates. When it was his turn, St. Peter said: “Hi Jack. To see if you qualify for heaven I need to ask you to spell Jesus for me.” “That’s easy,” Old Jack says, “J-E-S-U-S.” Peter looks at Jack and says: “Great! You’re in! But could you do me a small favor and take over here for a while. I just need to check on something. I’ll be back”.
Jack didn’t mind and asked everyone in line to spell Jesus. Just then, old John was coming through the line. Old John looks at old Jack and says, “What are you doing here?” Old Jack tells him, “Oh, I am just filling in for St. Peter and asking everybody to spell a word before they can pass through.” “O yeah, what’s the word?” asked Old John. After thinking for a moment Jack said: “spell Albuquerque!”
Forgiveness is so important that if we’re not careful, we’ll take it to the grave. And we’ll be like these two old men…..always at odds with life…always “wounded”!
I want toexplore some of the mysteries of “forgiveness”. Not only forgiving others, but also the secret to forgiving ourselves and receiving God’s forgiveness in our lives.
First, let’s take a look at the whole beauty of forgiveness from God’s eyes:
In the Gospel of Luke 15:11-32, Jesus tells this Parable–this story–of the Prodigal Son. It could also be called the story of the lost son. Let’s see if we can see ourselves in this parable:
This man has two sons, one rebels, the other does all the right things. The father in this parable is God. One of the son’s are us. The lost son really screws up his life and squanders everything he has on wild living. He gets so far down in life that he eats pig food.
Luke 15:11-16 (TNIV)
11 Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. 12 The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.13 “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living.
14 After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need.
15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16 He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.
Okay, at this point the rebelious son comes to his senses and wants to go back to simply being a servant for his father. Anything is better than where he’s been!
Luke 15:17- 20 (TNIV)
17 “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ 20 So he got up and went to his father.
The key here is that the father not only forgives him, but he welcomes his son back with fanfare. No matter where we’ve been, no matter what demons we have allowed to control our lives, God rejoices when we turn away from the wild life–the life that kills us and sucks away our humanity. When we humble ourselves, recognizing that we deserve so much less, He wants to give us so much more. But this is a condition of our heart.
Luke 15: 20-24 (TNIV)
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. 21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.
The beauty of forgiveness from God’s eyes, is that as we do the right things and change our path, God celebrates! He welcomes us back! He throws His arms around us in a big party!
To fully understand what “forgiveness” is, let’s look at some definitions as well as some of the words in Greek that are translated as “forgiveness”:
Forgiveness: To stop feeling angry or resentful towards someone….. for an offence or mistake.
— Concise Oxford English dictionary
Forgiveness: forgiveness is the wiping out of the offense from memory by the one affronted…….along with the restoration of harmony.
— The Anchor Yale Bible Dictionary
A few Greek words translated as “forgiveness”
charizomai [khar•id•zom•ahee]: Is translated as “forgive” 11 times in the New Testament. It is also translated as , “give”, “freely give”, “deliver” or “grant”. Although the Apostle Paul used other Greek words to express forgiveness, he generally favored this word because it was derived from the Greek word, “charis” which means “grace” .
apoluo [ap•ol•oo•o]: A word used by Jesus in Luke 6:37 that is translated as “forgive”. It is also translated as, ““release”, “put away”, “send away” or “let go”. It’s meaning is “to set free”, ” to detain no longer”, “to loose the bonds” (as in when someone is a prisoner).
aphiemi [af•ee•ay•mee]: Used in Mark 4:12. The Greek word aphiemi, translated “forgiven,” means :to leave or let go”, “to give up a debt”, or “to send away from oneself”. Forgiveness means that a relationship has been renewed despite a wrong that has been done.
Now that we have a little better inderstanding of what forgiveness actually is, let’s look deeper at the whole process of forgiveness.
The FIRST step in becoming whole is that we need to search our lives and release the “unforgiveness” that we are dragging around with us. The secret to forgiving ourselves is that “We must first forgive in order to be forgiven.” These burdens hold us down and “KILL” the spark in our lives. When we can learn to forgive it leads also to forgiveness by God and to the forgiveness of ourselves. When we refuse to forgive we show that we do not understand what God has done for us in forgiving us of our wrongs. As God’s children we must be ready and willing to forgive those who have wronged us, just as God has forgiven us.
Ephesians 4:32 (TNIV) [Paul talking]
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Colossians 3:13 (TNIV) [Paul talking]
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
Forgiving those who do wrong against us is often very tough to do! Frank has framed you or maybe Sue has thrown you under the bus! Bill has stolen from yo or Jim, well, he cheated you. Oh yeah, and your best friend has lied to you too.
Forgiving these people is not easy, in fact, it is often hard and at times may seem impossible to do! Yet Jesus, God, tells us to do it and that we CAN do it! Forgiveness is an act of faith. By forgiving someone who has wronged me, I am trusting that God is a better justice-maker than I am. By forgiving someone who has wronged me, I release my own right to get even and leave all the issues of fairness for God to work out.
Realize too that some wrongs against us aren’t serious enough to warrant forgiveness. Some behavior needs to be EXCUSED rather than forgiven. Accidents, mistakes, minor lapses in judgement, misunderstandings seldom need forgiveness, they usually just need to be excused.
Here are some suggestions as to how we can start to be more forgiving and how we can realease that daily burden of unforgiveness that often leads to hate, pain, and a feeling of hoplessness:
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The first thing I do is to recognize how much I have needed God’s forgiveness for what I have done wrong in His eyes.
- The second thing I do is to look at how people that are carrying grudges and hate in their heart look to me. It’s not working to good for them. Maybe they need to lay their pain down to get therough their days. It’s not a real pretty sight! I relize that If I carry this stuff around each day, I become shackled like them.
- The third thing I do is that I recognize that God is in control! He is the great provider and the provider of my needs. To be cheated hurts, but God can repair and restore it. To be lied to hurts, but God can clean the wound with truth.
- The fourth thing I do is recognize that I reap what I sow in life!
Luke 6:36-38 (TNIV) [Jesus talking]
36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. 37 “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.38 Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
- And lastly, I recognize that Jesus knows my hurts and my wounds. Through the tears God’s love begins to heal our hearts. That’s why forgiveness is complicated, yet, it’s very simple. And it’s always the direction that God wants our heart to turn to He never wants us to turn totoward revenge or hate. Forgiving others bears witness to the power of God over the worst that life can deal and the worst in us.
Take that FIRST step, search your life, and release the “unforgiveness” that you are dragging around because the secret to forgiving ourselves is that “We must first forgive in order to be forgiven.”
The SECOND step in becoming WHOLE it is to recognize that it is important that we shed the GUILT of our past and accept GOD’S forgiveness in our lives.
1 John 1:8-9 (TNIV)
“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
Sometimes our past can overwhelm us. Guilt and bad memories can cripple us. If we don’t find complete forgiveness through turning away from these things (it’s called “repentance”) and faith in Christ, our lives can take one of these turns:
- We often are attracted to self-help schemes and things that make us feel better temporarily but don’t deal with our real problem.
- We can dredge up past memories and the shame that went with them. And what does that do? It often paralizes us and the guilt makes us both ineffective and takes away our confidence.
- We allow ourselves to have a low self-respect and this often make us feel powerless and opens the door for our sinful desires to take control. We seek pleasure from the wrong places. We start to reject the central teaching of salvation, that our sins are forgiven and forgotten and instead we dwell on and attempt to solve our own problem without God’s help.
- Have you asked God for forgiveness?
- Do you recognize that it is hard for us to clean up our own mess but that God can do it?
Don’t forget to thank Him, because when God forgives He clears the record and we can start anew. Jesus died on the cross for the forgiveness of sins that we might live a new life in Him!
Take that SECOND step, recognize that it is important that you shed the GUILT of your past and accept GOD’S forgiveness in your life.
The THIRD step to becoming whole is to recognize that it is important to understand that forgiveness is primarily for us. It’s not neccesarily for the other person. Indeed, it’s the same way with God.
Isaiah 43:25 (TNIV) [God speaking through the prophet Isaiah]
“I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.
I find it interesting that we are made in the image of God and that as God speaks through the prophet Isaiah, He affirms also that forgiveness is for His sake. Just like forgiveness is for us not neccesarily for the person we forgive. I believe that it is important that we strive to love like God loves and forgive like God forgives.
Matthew 26:27-28 (TNIV)
27 Then he took the cup, and when he had given thanks, he gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you. 28 This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.
REMEMBER THAT GREEK WORD translated as “Forgiveness”?
“aphesis” [AF-ES-IS] is the Greek word translated as “forgiveness.”….it’s meaning is, “release from bondage or imprisonment”, “to pardon, to let go as if it had never been committed”
Take that THIRD step, recognize that you are not necessarilly doing someone else a favor by forgiving them. But you are doing YOURSELF a favor by taking away the paralizing effects of harboring unforgiveness in your heart. Simply put, forgiveness, “aphesis”, releases us from bondage in many many ways!
CONCLUSION:
When we turn back on our wrong doing and start doing what is right according to God’s wisdom and when we ask God for forgiveness He welcomes us back with open arms and throws a party in our honor!
- The FIRST step in becoming WHOLE is that we need to search our lives and release the “unforgiveness” that we are dragging around with us. The secret to forgiving ourselves is that “We must first forgive in order to be forgiven.”
- The SECOND step in becoming WHOLE it is to recognize that it is important that we shed the guilt of our past and accept God’s forgiveness in our lives.
- And the THIRD step to becoming whole is to recognize that it is important to understand that forgiveness is primarily for us, it’s not for the other person.
Is there someone who you need to forgive?
Is there someone who you haven’t talked to in a long time because of what they did?
Is there some one who you refuse to trust because of what they did?
Is there someone who you avoid like the plague, you won’t sit beside, someone that you are just plain mad at?
Is there someone whom you are waiting for a confession from before you offer forgiveness?
The secret to forgiving ourselves is that “We must first forgive in order to be forgiven.”