It seems that the prevalent attitude today towards marriage is not God’s plan–It’s less of an attitude of a lifelong commitment and more of an attitude of “what can you do for ME” (I’d say that it is an irresponsible attitude). We have talked about worldly wisdom and Godly wisdom before. This is another case of that contrast–worldly wisdom centers on “ME”, Godly wisdom centers on Him and OTHERS. In a Christ centered marriage two people come together as ONE.
The attitudes that say “I’m not happy”, “We’re not compatible”, “he (or she) doesn’t meet my needs” are SHALLOW and ME CENTERED. It is important for us to understand God’s ideal. The ideal is clearly stated in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. The apostle Paul is talking:
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (TNIV)
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails…..
Two normal people committed to these principals cannot help but find pleasure, happiness, and love for each other. Remember the fourth Beatitude: “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled” (Matthew 5: 6)
Married couples who habitually date and court each other will find their love growing deeper.
My first marriage, and indeed at that time in my life, LIFE WAS ABOUT ME! And…I just wasn’t getting it. Frankly, it wasn’t working so well for me!
When I dated my wife, Kelly, I was determined to live in a Godly way. What changed was my attitude. My greatest concern in our life together was and is, “Is Kelly happy with herself and her life?” While we are joined together as one in marriage…..we are both individuals. It’s funny how God’s wisdom works. Jesus tells us that the last will be first and the first will be last. This sometimes may sound confusing or just a neat sounding cliché. However, let me give you some insight into the genius of God:
Rather than be focused on my needs (trying to be first), I am focused on my wife’s needs (in a sense, I am trying to be last). She now focuses on my needs (in a sense being last) and I am now (in a sense) first (Though I am not trying to be first). THE KEY TO THIS is that “it is an attitude” to be adopted in our lives. There is no tit-for-tat, no keeping score, this is not a manipulative move or tool–there is just a new heart felt attitude toward life and this is the outcome.
The principal of the first and last:
Matthew 20:16 (This is Jesus speaking, TNIV)
“So the last will be first, and the first will be last.”
Jesus is AMAZING!