Often times we don’t like having boundaries, but the truth is…..without them we get pulled into situations that are hard for us to handle well (of course we know that we can handle anything well, right?……NOT!). Let’s be realistic, when we have no boundaries, temptations take over and next thing you know……regret sets in. My dad used to love the slogan at Outback Steak House, “No Rules” (and he would laugh and tell me how much he loved that slogan). Well……I love my dad……but he died young at 65. He was a world traveler, well educated, respected and loved. But….he lived his life with no rules, very few boundaries. He died alone (except for my family that took him in those last months and my sister’s family who helped get him to Colorado to live with us), broken hearted, had sclerosis of the liver from his drinking and was virtually penniless……his life was a mess. I vowed that I would create boundaries in my life because his “no rules” mantra sounded good, but I could see the results.
Mark 6:20b-23 (TNIV)
20b When Herod heard John, he was greatly puzzled; yet he liked to listen to him. 21 Finally the opportune time came. On his birthday Herod gave a banquet for his high officials and military commanders and the leading men of Galilee. 22 When the daughter of Herodias came in and danced, she pleased Herod and his dinner guests. The king said to the girl, “Ask me for anything you want, and I’ll give it to you.” 23 And he promised her with an oath, “Whatever you ask I will give you, up to half my kingdom.”
I don’t want to rail against parties and having fun, indeed, Jesus partied quite a bit. But what I so want to share with you is that in life, well placed boundaries tied to God’s wisdom in our lives protect us from pain, bitterness and hopelessness. Here, we see Herod throwing this great party, nothing wrong with that. I can see his young daughter now…. and her sultry dance in this raucous crowd of men and women that lived with virtually no rules, no boundaries. Her dance was so pleasing to the eye that Herod, the ruler of Galilee……was willing to offer her anything! What a dance that must have been! No rules! He even went so far as to promise her with an oath! “Whatever you ask I will give you, up to half my kingdom.”
Interestingly enough, He saw himself as a king but actually he was appointed by the Romans to rule over Galilee, a portion of Palestine. He had no real kingdom to offer, however, his point came across……he would give this young girl anything she wished.
As you will see in the coming days and as you might know the story…..she asked for the head of John the Baptist on a platter and got it! No rules….and it resulted in murder. What started out as a party ended in murderous tragedy. When we have no boundaries in our lives, or few boundaries, even the best made plans and what seems innocent enough; a party……can end up in tragedy. I am not railing against parties, indeed, I like to have fun. BUT, I am railing against, “no rules”. I see so many lives very slowly degenerate into tragedy….right before my eyes, and all because good boundaries aren’t set in place!
I can have a drink! No problem! But without boundaries, alcoholism will creep up over years and you won’t even know (it’s called denial folks). Then…..”got ya!” My boundary is to drink no more than two beers, not drink to get drunk, NEVER because I am depressed or hurting and never with any pattern (never every day). For some people, NO drinking needs to be the boundary.
I’m married, but its okay to hang out with other women! No Problem! I would NEVER cheat on my wife! Tough time’s in the relationship, a little too much to drink or too close a proximity…. or even, just getting a little too friendly……then……”got ya”. My boundary is never to be alone with a woman who is not my wife or relative. We changed our doors in the office so that all of them have windows. That’s a boundary. If I must meet with a women (I counsel), I must have someone else there.
I can tell a white lie! No problem! No one gets hurt! Then…the situation changes or is exposed or whatever…sometimes embarrassment set’s in….sometimes THERE IS A TERRIBLE COST! My boundary is to be honest even in the small things….no matter what the cost! Grace comes easier with honesty….with suspected or exposed dishonesty…..trust is always lost.
Here, now is your chance….create your own problem and create your own boundary:
I can ___________! No Problem! I am in control of everything in my life. Nothing will go wrong! Now…….create your boundary: _______________.
Boundaries are a safety net and protect us from the great deception that we are in control. Trust God, indeed, trust Jesus and set up good wisdom based boundaries in your life. Don’t end up like my dad and SO MANY other people I know. They never in a thousand years figured they would end up with the problems they have….BUT……what can I say. No rules really means “NO LIFE” and “boundaries” really means, “Life to the fullest”.